LABOUR IS HARD WORK. IT HURTS. YOU CAN DO IT. - Birthing from Within
Showing posts with label Lethbridge doulas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lethbridge doulas. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Pregnancy and Birth Outcomes...

...are influenced by a variety of factors, but cannot be controlled by planning.

Let me rephrase that.  Parents have an idea (fantasy?) of what it will be like.  Moms and dads get organized, read all the 'right' books, take classes, write their birth plan, hire a doula.  And the reality is nothing like they expect:

Just getting through a contraction blocks out everything mom has learned and read.
 
The parents expect to be at home with their doula in early labour and end up in the hospital for 18 hours instead. 
 
Mom says she will never get an epidural and after 30 hours of labour, gets it and wonders why she didn't get it sooner.

Most of us have a fundamental belief (whether we acknowledge it or not), that if we prepare in a certain way and do all the right things, we will have the 'good' birth.  If the birth we have does not match the fantasy, we make an assumption that we have done something wrong and judge ourselves as failing.

Part of what Birthing from Within is about is acknowledging this belief and shifting the idea of a 'good' birth. External factors (what happens) are not as important for parents feeling good about their birth as internal ones (what parents do in the moment).  Some people have unexpected cesarean births that they feel great about, because they know they did everything they could.  Others have a rapidly progressing vaginal birth with no interventions that they perceive as being completely traumatic.

Birthing from Within is not about laying down a plan to follow to the letter.  It is about preparing by putting out into the universe what we would like for ourselves, without being attached to what actually happens.  We are prepared to accept what is happening in the moment and do the next best thing, when necessary.

This is a huge departure from most of what is out there about birth preparation.  It can be scary to let go of the busy work that we do to get the 'right' plan.  And it is good to be a little bit scared, especially when we are stepping into the unknown.

Please check out www.birthingfromwithin.com and www.elliedoula.com for more about this unique birth preparation.


Thursday, June 14, 2012

Fathers and Partners Help Best as Birth Guardians...

...and/or loving partners, not as coaches; they also need support.

In honour of Father's Day, I decided to write about this Birthing from Within principle.

In our birth culture, we have moved from dads not even being in the room, to an expectation that they are responsible for supporting the mother in every aspect of pregnancy and birth.  This is not fair to either parent.

Birthing from Within Classes and doula support recognizes that fathers are also going through a rite of passage and major life change that is parallel to, and different from, the mother's experience.  Birthing from Within Classes provide a special class for fathers,that address their different needs. Read more about how Birthing from Within helps fathers...

The main role of the father during birth is to simply be present for the mother, to focus all of his attention and love on her.  Many dads learn that their role at the birth is to 'do something', whether that means negotiating with hospital staff, getting ice chips or doing a certain kind of massage for the mom.  While there are times during the birth that specific tasks may be required, the thing that moms remember most is a sense of their partner being present emotionally.  The father's preparation is sometimes about unlearning -- letting go of the instinct to solve a problem or fix something and instead learn to let the mother experience the intensity of labour, simply being there for her and recognizing the birth as the transformative experience it is.

Birthing from Within pain-coping practices (learned in a class) can help the parents stay connected to each other and gives the father something 'useful' to do that maintains and intensifies their emotional connection.

Having a doula or other female support person present is an excellent way to allow the parents to focus inward on the birth, while the doula gets the ice chips!  Doulas can also help direct dad if he is uncertain about what might help the mother and give him a break if he needs to leave for a few minutes to centre himself. Read this article about how doulas help...


Sunday, May 27, 2012

The Purpose of Childbirth Preparation...

...is to prepare mothers to give birth in awareness, not to achieve a specific birth outcome.

This Birthing from Within guiding principle was a real shift for me.  Before I became a Birthing from Within Mentor and Doula in June 2011, I was promising my clients a natural birth in the hospital. I had an intervention free hospital birth and at that time most of my doula clients where having the same type of birth. I was selling pregnant couples a 'good' hospital experience.  And of course couples were buying it.

My realization through my Birthing from Within training and experiences over the last year have helped me realize that truly birthing 'from within', has nothing to do with the type of birth you have and everything to do with where your head is at. Preparation is incredibly valuable, and it does not guarantee a certain outcome.

Research shows parents who receive support:
  • Feel more secure and cared for
  • Are more successful in adapting to new family dynamics
  • Have greater success with breastfeeding
  • Have greater self-confidence
These things are true for most parents who use doulas, regardless of the birth outcomes.  This is what I am now offering pregnant couples.  It is not a 'magic bullet', and sometimes it is hard for first time parents to understand how valuable building confidence and feeling good about the birth really is.

The DONA Website also mentions less interventions and cesareans.  While these statistics are valid over a large number of births, parents sometimes interpret this as: "If I hire you as my doula, I will not have an epidural or a cesarean." Promising this (even unintentionally) is doing a disservice to the parents and the doula. Doulas burn out because we take on responsibility for birth outcomes and then when it does not go the way we expect (and parents expect), we take it personally and it is emotionally draining.

Birthing from Within preparation and support includes preparing for every possible outcome and helps parents learn to be present in the moment and recognize their birth as a major rite of passage, whatever kind of birth they have.

Please take a look at my new website for more about what I can offer you.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Lethbridge City and Baby Trade Show

We are sponsoring this trade show, taking place Saturday, March 3.

For more info and to see our blog post on their page click here.

We hope to see you there.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Pregnancy & Birth Information Session

The first step in birthing (and living) in-awareness is to turn your attention inward each day. One of the important tasks of pregnancy is to consciously tune in to, develop, and trust your own, new, maternal intuition. 



Are you pregnant and interested in learning practical ways to improve your pregnancy and birth experience?


West Lethbridge Family Chiropractic
Dr. Amy Heilman, West Lethbridge Family Chiropractic, will offer some practical ideas about easing some of the common discomforts of pregnancy as well as answer any questions about how chiropractic care can help many of these problems.


Ellie Colver, Birthing from Within Mentor and Doula, will begin to help you prepare for emotionally and mentally for your birth and parenting experience. She will also tell you about her classes and doula support.

Saturday, February 4
2:00 – 4:00 p.m.
West Lethbridge Family Chiropractic - 888 Heritage Boulevard W

For more information and to RSVP:
Contact Ellie Colver
Birthing from Within Mentor & Doula

elliedoula@gmail.com
403-360-7878



Birthing from Within Lethbridge on Facebook

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Getting Postpartum Support - A few ideas

Below are some ideas for support with a new baby.  Most of the resources are local to Lethbridge, but the ideas apply to everyone.


When you have the baby, change your voicemail to say:“{NAME} was born {DATE&TIME}, weighing {POUNDS}. We are busy getting to know our baby and we will get in touch when we have all rested a bit.” You can also put a sign on the door if you expect people to stop by.

 Make a list of things that people can help with: Groceries, Meals, Chores, Errands.  This way when they ask what they can do, you can put them to work. Check out www.mealtrain.com to set up an online meal request calendar.

Hire a postpartum doula (if you haven’t already).  A postpartum doula can help you with practical baby care, emotional support, babywearing and anything else you might need.  See www.elliedoula.com for more on postpartum support.

Connect with La Leche League Lethbridge for breastfeeding support.  Meetings are the first Tuesday or Wednesday of each month at the downtown library.  Join the facebook group to get reminders about the meeting or call 403-331-1003 for phone support.  www.lllc.ca.

Find a group of new moms you can connect with.  www.mommyconnections.ca offers postnatal programs for moms in Lethbridge.

If you think you might have postpartum depression, get help.  www.thesmilingmask.com has lots of resources including the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale.  Alberta Health Services offers in-home counselling for women with postpartum depression, free of charge.  Contact Bree Elliott, Mental Health Therapist at 403-388-6666 for more info.

Get a baby carrier and wear your baby as much as possible.  www.ecobabycanada.com is a local business selling great slings, wraps and soft structured carriers, along with help learning how to wear them.  Also join the facebook group for Bridge City Slingers – Lethbridge Baby Wearers, to get support on babywearing and info about meetings.

DADS: If mom is breastfeeding the baby for hours every day what does dad do:
o   Everything else! – find ways to give mom a break (even a short one)
o   Wear your baby in a carrier around the house or go for a walk
o   Change diapers
o   Give the baby a bath or take a bath together
o   Take a nap with the baby (make sure to follow safe co-sleeping practices)
o   Make a meal, or go out and pick up healthy takeout or nutritious snacks
o   Sweep the floor, do a load of laundry, change the sheets on the bed...
o   Support breastfeeding by caring for your partner, so she can care for the child.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

The Teacher is "Midwife" to the Parents' Discovery Process...

...not the expert from whom wisdom flows.

This is the fourth Birthing from Within guiding principle, and one more thing that sets Birthing from Within apart from some of the other prenatal class options that are out there.

I realized how true this is when I mentored my first group class last weekend.  My regular class series (whether weekend or six week series) is 15 hours of class time.  Last weekend's class was 6 hours total.  At first, I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to cover 'everything' in 6 hours.  Then as I explored further, I recognized that there is no 'everything'.  There is simply the process of introducing parents to new ideas and ways of thinking about birth and themselves as parents and trusting they will take what they need from the class and learn more on their own.

There is so much 'information' about birth:  telling people where to go, what to do and presenting potential scenarios for parents depending on the decisions they make.  The reality is that parents will not really be able to understand in advance exactly what will happen and instead need to understand that each birth is a different and intensely personal experience for everyone (even a mother and father at the same birth or a mother from one birth to the next).  This is one of the reasons that we use the Labyrinth to look at birth.  The labyrinth has one pathway in and out, but the path is full of twists and turns.  When I taught this at my class last weekend parents really responded to it.  One mother said that she only really understood how useful it might be for labour and birth once she explained it to her own mother.  This is a really good example of how the Birthing from Within Mentor (teacher) introduces a concept and parents take it, explore it further and make it their own.  She bought the Labyrinth of Birth book, which includes history of labyrinths, how to make them and ways to use them in preparation for labour and during labour.

What I do as a Birthing from Within Mentor can be hard to explain.  In our society, we are accustomed to looking for the right answer.  Many people feel inclined to make judgments about pregnant women and give them advice, and sometimes that advice seems helpful, especially if it reinforces what we already believe about birth.  As a Mentor, it is not my job to tell parents what to or tricks on how to have the 'right' birth.  My role is to help them understand what might be right for them and to truly accept that the unexpected is inevitable.  From there, parents take responsibility for their own birth preparation.  Sometimes, it seems to make the classes more challenging to 'sell' to people, since I am not offering a magical solution.  Instead, I am offering the opportunity to discover things about yourself, your relationship with your partner and presenting new ideas that may help you in birth and as a new parent.

I have a six-week series starting on November 2, for those in the Lethbridge area.  please contact me for more information:  elliedoula@gmail.com

Friday, September 30, 2011

Childbirth Preparation is Also Parent Preparation

This is the 3rd guiding principle of Birthing from Within.  People spend a year preparing for a wedding day, how much time do we spend preparing for married life?  Similarly, most prenatal classes spend most of the time preparing for the day of birth itself, how much time do we spend preparing for actual parenting? The Birthing from Within perspective is that you are a parent while pregnant, and we use the terms parents, mothers and fathers to refer to our class participants.

One great thing about Birthing from Within Classes is that the way the classes are taught, prepares you for both birth and parenting.  We learn that birth is unpredictable, unexpected events occur, we cannot plan for or control every aspect of it.  We may feel frustrated, exhausted or uncomfortable.  Welcome to parenthood!

I think about the ideas I had about both birth and parenting before I had my daughter, and I have to smile at myself.  The expectation that I could control so many things, that if I just figured out the magical equation she would sleep, calm down, nurse the way I expected her too.  Even now, she is 2 and a half and I still sometimes want to make things happen in a certain way, that is easy or convenient for me.  I would have loved to take a Birthing from Within class, and maybe it would have helped me understand that holding a baby for hours on end to get them to sleep was not a problem to be solved, but what I signed up for as a parent. Now, in the rare event that she wants to snuggle or has trouble going to sleep, I do my best to use my Birthing from Within breath practices (used for pain-coping during labour), to be present in the moment and enjoy it or at least accept it.  It works (sort of) for temper tantrums in the grocery store too.

Connected to the topic of parent preparation, I participated in a workshop in my community this week, from the creators of The Smiling Mask:
The purpose of The Smiling Mask is to create awareness, understanding, and acceptance of postpartum difficulties; to bring peace and validation to mothers and fathers by engaging and empowering families, and communities in the life changing and natural experience of parenthood.


The three women who started it all experience postpartum depression after the births of their children, and they were not prepared for it.  Our society and media barrage us with images of happy mothers and peaceful babies, and if we fall outside of that there is some kind of deficit in us.  Really the deficit is in an understanding of parenthood as a major rite of passage and the reality that we feel all kinds of things as new parents.  Consistently, new parents feel exhausted, but other than that it really depends on the individual. If we do meaningful preparation before birth, the more resources and coping skills we will have.  The more that we create a community of support, whether it is family, friends or professionals such as postpartum doulas and counsellors, the more we can call on them when we need help.  Everyone who had a new baby needs help, the difference is whether we allow ourselves to accept the help.

I would highly recommend The Smiling Mask website, dvd and books.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Essence of Childbirth Preparation is Self-Discovery...

...not assimilating obstetrical information.


This the second Birthing from Within® principle.  For some of us, when we are first pregnant, we start to read all the 'books'.  The ones about what happens every week during pregnancy, describing: the birth, the dilation, effacement, induction, ruptured membranes, prolapsed cords, and on and on. Sometimes, the desire to get 'all the information' comes from a belief that the more we know about these kinds of things, the 'better' our birth will be. A good question to ask ourselves is: what kind of information are we getting from these books and how will it help us to prepare for and give birth to our baby?

Many books and childbirth classes present primarily obstetric information, which is simply technical, medical information about birth.  This is information that is especially useful if you are a doctor, nurse or midwife and you need to determine what is happening medically during a birth.  As a parent, this information can be interesting to read, but it is not necessarily relevant when you are actually going through the experience of labour.

Are we looking for a magical formula for the perfect birth?  Or do we just want to gather as much information as possible and leave ourselves open to all the possibilities? Maybe what we are looking for is something else, something to help us in our journey and these books are what is available to us.

We are very much a society that emphasizes solving problems, getting the 'right' answer and planning for everything.  Birth is about surrendering to the unknown, and accepting that we will get there regardless of what we do or don't do to prepare.  One of the things we do as part of Birthing from Within childbirth preparation is to use the labyrinth as a metaphor for the childbirth experience.  (Click here for an article about this).  The labyrinth allows us to look at birth as a journey, where we are challenged, we face the unexpected, we doubt ourselves and we move forward and reach the centre (i.e. the birth of our baby).  Birth gives us the opportunity to really learn about ourselves and to emerge as parents.  This is as true for fathers as well as mothers.

It is important that we do the amount of preparation that feels right to us.  For some people it is reading and taking two or three different prenatal classes and hiring a doula and joining groups online and talking to everyone they know who has ever had a baby.  For others, it is blocking out all medical information about birth and just preparing emotionally.  Or somewhere in between. There is no right or wrong way to prepare.  What is useful to understand is that we are all going on the same journey, in the sense that it is unpredictable and there is no magic formula or right way to do it.

Birthing from Within childbirth classes are unique in that people with very different kinds of approaches to birth preparation are able to benefit, as long as you are willing to learn about yourself and move forward on your journey, one step at a time.

If you are interested in a Birthing from Within Class and you live in the Lethbridge area, please contact me for more information.  If you live somewhere else, please check out Birthing from Within's website to find a Mentor in your area




Friday, August 5, 2011

Birthing from Within Classes starting in September in Lethbridge


Are you interested in an alternative to traditional birth classes that help you prepare fully for your birth?

Are you looking for ways to cope with pain that are easy to learn and effective during labour?

Do you understand that birth is unpredictable and do you want to be prepared for whatever happens?

 Partners: do you want to learn to be the best possible support person for your spouse?

Do you want the chance to embrace and celebrate the life changes that come with pregnancy, birth and parenthood?

For more information and to register contact:
Ellie Colver CD(DONA) PCD(DONA)
403-524-1721/403-360-7878

I am a Birthing from Within Mentor/Childbirth Educator and a DONA International certified Birth and Postpartum Doula.
I also offer Prenatal, Labour and Postpartum Doula Support.
FALL 2011 BIRTHING FROM WITHIN® GROUP SESSIONS:

SESSION #1: Weekend Intensive September 24-25

SESSION # 2: Wednesday Evenings Nov. 2 - Dec. 7

Private classes are also available


LABOUR IS HARD. IT HURTS. YOU CAN DO IT.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Practices That Promote Safe, Healthy Birth

I recently re-read The Official Lamaze Guide and I was impressed with how much it resonates with me and my own philosophy of birth.  Similarly to Breastfeeding Made Simple: Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers, the authors of the Lamaze Guide are able to use a few simple principles to help women move towards the best possible outcomes for themselves and their babies.

They explain that up to 95% of women should have 'no-risk' pregnancies and be able to give birth safely, without the need for interventions.  If this is the case, why are so many women being labelled 'high-risk' and even those who are 'low-risk' ending up with all kinds of unnecessary interventions and births that are not what they had hoped for?  Simply, it is because we (parents, medical practitioners, support people and the general public) need to remember that birth is a natural part of life and that even the most subtle interference can have an a major impact.

The authors cite a lot of research, especially work that can be found on the Cochrane Library database, which proves that many routine interventions do not improve maternal and infant health and in many cases are potentially harmful.  They distill this research in a way that is easy to understand and, more impressively, in a way that supports their common sense birth practices. Most pregnant women will read this book and feel more confident in themselves and their ability to give birth in a safe and healthy way.

SIX PRACTICES THAT PROMOTE SAFE, HEALTHY BIRTH

Let Labour Begin on its Own:
Medically speaking a term baby is between 37-42 weeks gestation.  Many doctors encourage their patients to induce labour between 40-42 weeks or even earlier.  Usually there is no medical indication for this..  Many women at this point are understandably tired of being pregnant and misunderstand their doctor's encouragement as a medical necessity.  If your doctor suggests induction before 42 weeks, ask what the medical indications for induction are.

Sometimes women will be told that there is a risk of their baby being too big (macrosomia). It is important to know that this is not a true medical indication for induction (or for c-section) and that means used for establishing the size of a baby have a margin of error of more than 25% or more.  This means that your supposedly 10 pound baby could end up only being 7.5 pounds.

It is important to know that there are  risks to being induced and it can also negatively affect the birth experience, as most induction methods affect the body's natural ability to cope with pain.

See Lamaze International for more on letting labour begin on its own.

Walk, Move Around and Change Positions Throughout Labour
This one seems kind of obvious, but sometimes labouring women don't want to move.  They either find a position that is comfortable or they are uncomfortable and concerned that changing positions will make it worse.  The authors say the one of the purposes of pain in labour is to encourage us to move, find a new comfortable position and move the baby down.  The best thing to do is trust your body and ask for help from your support people if you want to try something different.

Obviously, the more interventions you have the move difficult movement can be.  In Lethbridge, you generally will not be allowed to move much if you have an epidural, but you should still be able to switch from side to side. If you are induced or labour is augmented with Pitocin, you will be required to wear the monitor most of time.  You can still get creative changing positions in and around the bed.


Bring a Loved One, Friend or Doula for Continuous Support
It is essential that your support people understand and agree with the type of birth experience you wantEspecially if you do not have a doula, the need to be well prepared and ideally have previous experience with birth.  Childbirth education classes can be really helpful and I hope to be offering them starting in the summer or fall of 2011.  Please contact me if you are interested.

You know best who can support you best during your birth.  In the Lethbridge Hospital there is a rule of 2 support people, which means you may have to choose between a family member and a doula.  If you choose a family member or friend along with your partner, try to envision how you would like them to help you during the birth.  Birth is very intimate and emotional and sometimes unresolved issues can come up and negatively affect labour.  Make sure personal issues are resolved before labour begins.


Avoid Interventions that Are Not Medically Necessary
Some interventions (such as IVs, epidurals, breaking your water, continuous monitoring) are done routinely, but have been shown by research to negatively affect labour (by slowing it down, increasing the need for even more interventions, increasing challenges with breastfeeding).  Make that there are good medical reasons for whatever interventions you agree to and try to come up with a compromise that will not affect your birth as much.  For example if you are Group B strep positive and need antibiotics, request a Hep(arin) lock to receive your antibiotics.  This way you can still move around freely without an IV pole and receive medication only when you need it.


Avoid Giving Birth on Your Back and Follow Your Body's Urges to Push
The Lethbridge Hospital has squat bars that attach to the bed and these can be very effective for some people.  You might have an idea for a position to try, don't be afraid to ask, or even move into that position (with help from your support people).

Sometimes women are asked to wait before they start pushing and this is difficult to impossible for most.  In a non-medicated birth the urge to push for most people is overwhelming.  Once you are pushing, medical staff sometimes make suggestions for pushing.  Sometimes they can be very effective, but pushing harder than your body wants to or before you are ready will result in exhaustion.  Some women have a brief rest period after they are fully dilated, before they feel an urge to push.  If you have this break, take advantage of it, it is a gift to help you get ready for pushing.


Keep Mother and Baby Together, it's Best for Mother, Baby and Breastfeeding
Here in the Lethbridge, hospital staff will usually place your baby on your abdomen immediately after birth, if you request this beforehand, if you do not request it, they will usually take the baby away to be weighed, measured and checked.  Weighing and measuring does not need to happen immediately and the baby can usually be checked in your arms.

If the baby is skin to skin in your arms you body will regulate his temperature and he will be more likely to latch on and breastfeed successfully. Babies born without medication have a very awake period immediately after birth and this is the best time to start breastfeeding.  See my post on breastfeeding, for more on this.

If you are pregnant I would recommend signing up for the Lamaze International blog Giving Birth with Confidence.

Mother's Advocate has videos and handouts about the Six Lamaze Healthy Birth Practices.


As always, please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or if you are interested in a doula.