Getting Postpartum Support - A few ideas

Below are some ideas for support with a new baby.  Most of the resources are local to Lethbridge, but the ideas apply to everyone.


When you have the baby, change your voicemail to say:“{NAME} was born {DATE&TIME}, weighing {POUNDS}. We are busy getting to know our baby and we will get in touch when we have all rested a bit.” You can also put a sign on the door if you expect people to stop by.

 Make a list of things that people can help with: Groceries, Meals, Chores, Errands.  This way when they ask what they can do, you can put them to work. Check out www.mealtrain.com to set up an online meal request calendar.

Hire a postpartum doula (if you haven’t already).  A postpartum doula can help you with practical baby care, emotional support, babywearing and anything else you might need.  See www.elliedoula.com for more on postpartum support.

Connect with La Leche League Lethbridge for breastfeeding support.  Meetings are the first Tuesday or Wednesday of each month at the downtown library.  Join the facebook group to get reminders about the meeting or call 403-331-1003 for phone support.  www.lllc.ca.

Find a group of new moms you can connect with.  www.mommyconnections.ca offers postnatal programs for moms in Lethbridge.

If you think you might have postpartum depression, get help.  www.thesmilingmask.com has lots of resources including the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale.  Alberta Health Services offers in-home counselling for women with postpartum depression, free of charge.  Contact Bree Elliott, Mental Health Therapist at 403-388-6666 for more info.

Get a baby carrier and wear your baby as much as possible.  www.ecobabycanada.com is a local business selling great slings, wraps and soft structured carriers, along with help learning how to wear them.  Also join the facebook group for Bridge City Slingers – Lethbridge Baby Wearers, to get support on babywearing and info about meetings.

DADS: If mom is breastfeeding the baby for hours every day what does dad do:

o   Everything else! – find ways to give mom a break (even a short one)

o   Wear your baby in a carrier around the house or go for a walk

o   Change diapers

o   Give the baby a bath or take a bath together

o   Take a nap with the baby (make sure to follow safe co-sleeping practices)

o   Make a meal, or go out and pick up healthy takeout or nutritious snacks

o   Sweep the floor, do a load of laundry, change the sheets on the bed...

o   Support breastfeeding by caring for your partner, so she can care for the child.

Childbirth Preparation is Also Parent Preparation

This is the 3rd guiding principle of Birthing from Within.  People spend a year preparing for a wedding day, how much time do we spend preparing for married life?  Similarly, most prenatal classes spend most of the time preparing for the day of birth itself, how much time do we spend preparing for actual parenting? The Birthing from Within perspective is that you are a parent while pregnant, and we use the terms parents, mothers and fathers to refer to our class participants.

One great thing about Birthing from Within Classes is that the way the classes are taught, prepares you for both birth and parenting.  We learn that birth is unpredictable, unexpected events occur, we cannot plan for or control every aspect of it.  We may feel frustrated, exhausted or uncomfortable.  Welcome to parenthood!

I think about the ideas I had about both birth and parenting before I had my daughter, and I have to smile at myself.  The expectation that I could control so many things, that if I just figured out the magical equation she would sleep, calm down, nurse the way I expected her too.  Even now, she is 2 and a half and I still sometimes want to make things happen in a certain way, that is easy or convenient for me.  I would have loved to take a Birthing from Within class, and maybe it would have helped me understand that holding a baby for hours on end to get them to sleep was not a problem to be solved, but what I signed up for as a parent. Now, in the rare event that she wants to snuggle or has trouble going to sleep, I do my best to use my Birthing from Within breath practices (used for pain-coping during labour), to be present in the moment and enjoy it or at least accept it.  It works (sort of) for temper tantrums in the grocery store too.

Connected to the topic of parent preparation, I participated in a workshop in my community this week, from the creators of The Smiling Mask:
The purpose of The Smiling Mask is to create awareness, understanding, and acceptance of postpartum difficulties; to bring peace and validation to mothers and fathers by engaging and empowering families, and communities in the life changing and natural experience of parenthood.


The three women who started it all experience postpartum depression after the births of their children, and they were not prepared for it.  Our society and media barrage us with images of happy mothers and peaceful babies, and if we fall outside of that there is some kind of deficit in us.  Really the deficit is in an understanding of parenthood as a major rite of passage and the reality that we feel all kinds of things as new parents.  Consistently, new parents feel exhausted, but other than that it really depends on the individual. If we do meaningful preparation before birth, the more resources and coping skills we will have.  The more that we create a community of support, whether it is family, friends or professionals such as postpartum doulas and counsellors, the more we can call on them when we need help.  Everyone who had a new baby needs help, the difference is whether we allow ourselves to accept the help.

I would highly recommend The Smiling Mask website, dvd and books.