Practice as a Post-Partum Doula (Part 2)

I arrived (with 11 month old Julie) in Kamloops on Saturday, February 27th, just a few days after Anne’s birth. Aside from stitches from a tear, Abigail was doing great as a mom, breastfeeding was well established, with not too much discomfort. This was different than my own experience, where I struggled with establishing a good latch and lots of discomfort. Fortunately, I had great support from La Leche League which contributed to the excellent breastfeeding relationship that Julie and I now have.

Abigail had no interventions and no pain medications during labour. Although they did not have a birth doula, the nurses at the Kamloops hospital had been supportive and encouraging during labour. My experience and that of people that I talk to suggest that there are at least as many great hospital staff out there as not so great, and that while it is easy to be critical, as parents and doulas, we really need to applaud those people who help in preserving the birth space for the mother, even while they are ensuring the health of mother and baby.

I arrived on Saturday, and my brother went back to work at 5:30 a.m. Monday morning. My biggest challenge with my lovely sister-in-law was convincing her to let me help. Abigail is an extremely competent, strong, hard-working person and we had a lot of exchanges that went like this:

Me: “What can I do to help?”
Abigail: “Nothing. I will definitely get that laundry folded, unload the dishwasher, sweep the floor, etc...”
Me: “Why don’t you just hang out with the baby and I will do that stuff?”
Abigail: “But I need to feel like I accomplished something today.”
Me: “You did, you fed and changed the baby...”

After a couple of days, I was allowed to make meals, do the grocery shopping, do dishes and vacumn. I even made my mom’s signature chocolate chip cookies. And I held baby Anne or kept an eye on her while Abigail showered and rested.

We also spent time talking about the birth experience and laughing about how different the expectations and reality can be. I think birth is something that you can never truly be prepared for, no matter how much you read or how many stories you hear. I definitely talked about my birth experience, but tried to make sure that Abigail was the central focus.

The other thing I remembered from my experience (and read about too) is how emotional a new mother can feel. When my baby was a couple of days old, I remember sitting at the kitchen table, sobbing about how fortunate she is compared to so many children in the world. Abigail and I had a similar conversation, where we both ended up crying and feeling pretty lucky at the same time.

Thanks to Abigail and Ben, for letting us share in the first week of Anne’s life.

All information used with express permission.

Practice as a Post-Partum Doula (Part 1 of 2)

“A post-partum doula is trained and experienced in meeting a new family’s needs for household help, meal preparation, advice and assistance with newborn care and feeding, and allowing time for the new mother to rest.” (From Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn, 5th edition).

Me as post-partum doula, holding the baby while my sister-in-law takes a shower.

On February 24, 2010 my brother Ben and his partner Abigail had their first baby, Anne. She weighed a healthy 8 lbs, 4 oz at birth and was born in the Kamloops hospital, naturally, with few complications.

This was great for me, because along with becoming an Aunt and having a new cousin for my little one, Julie, it was one of the first times in my life that I got to be the one in a position of support. As the little sister, growing up I was always used to doing things second. But in this instance I was able to use the experience I gained by having Julie last year to be in a position to help.

I am calling this post ‘Practice’ as a post-partum doula, because although I am a trained birth doula, I have not yet been trained as a post-partum doula. I am hoping to take the training in Lethbridge at the end of May.

It strikes me that, like a birth doula, training is not necessarily the most important element in providing post-partum support. Like a birth situation, being able to read the environment, and helping the mom in the way that she needs to be helped is the key. It is all part of preserving the space. This is just as important after the birth as during the birth process.

Sometimes family members can be in a great position to support the new parents (as I was in this case), but what about when there is no family available, or if the family and the new parents have different philosophies about how to parent? That is where a doula can be extremely useful. A good doula should be concerned with helping the parents to have the environment that they want, allowing them to rest and helping to increase their confidence (if they are first time parents).

In my next post, I will write about what specific kinds of things I help Abigail and Ben with.

All information used with express permission